How Do You Spell Success?

Success. What is it? Where is it? How can we achieve it?

The definition of success I like best; the favorable outcome of something attempted.

Based on the above definition, success can be anything we attempt to accomplish. The confusion is generated by the word, favorable. Do you have to actually accomplish a task to be successful or does success come from the attempt?

The technical antonym of success is failure. But do we really fail when we don't achieve a desired result? Or is the failure only revealed by act of quitting before we achieve our goal?

My belief is we can eliminate most of the confusion by setting proper goals. Once we have solid goals in place we develop and implement our daily action plan. Success will show its face as we attain each of the smaller goals. eventually leading up to the ultimate prize, whatever that is.

We may not actually reach the pinnacle of our dreams. However, by not quitting we'll be in a far better position than we started.

Isn't that success?

Goals

It is time to talk about goals again. A previous post on goals is shown below:

Behind any meaningful change there has to be a motivation to change. That motivation is most effectively shown as a goal. Goals can be anything that leads you to sustained action. Goals are usually material in nature because tangible items are easier to see then intangible.

Setting goals can be difficult if you don't have a guideline to follow. Here is your guideline.

1. They must be measurable.

2. They must have a date.

3. They must be realistic.

4. They must be written.

5. They must be believable.

Jason Brader from FASST and I held a seminar discussing goals on Saturday afternoon. Our audience was student athletes and their coaches. The turn out was great and the kids left with a renewed vigor and confidence.

The "V" in Valid represents vision. Goals help you define and reach your vision. The next few weeks will be dedicated to Goals and Vision.

Another significant event which took place on Saturday was the start of my personal coaching venture. Personal Coaching is an extension of my mission, which is helping to restore others. More info can be found at www.seedmin.com.

Proper goals can energize, but poor goals will demoralize.

How do you set goals?

Conflict: Why we need it!

As a leader there are a few labels you don't want to be branded with. Two of them are:

1. Non-Confrontational, which we'll cover in this post.

2. Arrogance, which we'll cover in the future.

In each area of life we encounter conflict and confrontation.They're unavoidable. Speaking from experience these times will create an enormous amount of stress and discomfort if we are not prepared.

To be an effective, VALID leader, we must not back down from conflict. We are clearly commissioned as Christian leaders to confront and face conflict head on.

The bible talks about conflict in 2 Cor. 7:5 (NIV), this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within.

And about confrontation in, Gal. 2:11 (MSG), I had a face-to-face confrontation with him because he was clearly out of line.

Defining conflict is simple. Two differing viewpoints toward a similar subject. It is not fighting or arguing to win the battle. When this occurs it is generally due to lack of leadership and/ or misuse of power.

Allowing conflict, in its proper terms, provides clarity. Focusing on the topic and allowing everyone to speak candidly paves the way toward resolution. We can also expect to reach consensus and establish collaboration within our teams. These are far better than settling for compromise. Plus, great decisions often result from allowing conflicting viewpoints.

Don't shy away from healthy conflict. Your leadership and credibility depend on it.

All scripture provided by Bible Gateway.

Character Revealed

I have heard it said many times, character is shaped by adversity. It is also said character is revealed through adversity. Which is correct?

Both.

What others see during our stressful times is a combination of our experience, wisdom, and integrity. These three areas are the primary make up of our character.

Realize though, our character is never fully formed. Every time we encounter a stress point we are not only revealing our existing character; we are also re-shaping and reinforcing it for the next display.

If we are not happy with our reaction to adversity, we can change. Positive change takes time, but in the end pays huge dividends.

Romans 12:1-2(MSG) spells it out perfectly,

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Remember when our character is tested others see right through the facades into our hearts. This leads us back to demonstration once again.

To be an effective, VALID leader, our character traits must to be real. We all fail at some point in our life. When this occurs, don't make excuses. Make it right and press on!

How Do You Demonstrate Your Leadership

What we do and how we act, or react, is heard loud and clear. Our actions drown out the words we speak. VALID leadership describes this as demonstration. It is the external expression of our integrity. Integrity consists of everything we think, say, and do publicly and privately.

We demonstrate this with every breath we take. Our credibility is formed by our external expression of integrity. It is either developed or destroyed depending on our actions. Building credibility takes time and patience--losing it can take seconds.

It is much easier to preserve our credibility than to regain it. Regaining lost credibility is nearly impossible. I contend once it is breached, it is gone.

Two scriptures from the book of Proverbs express this perfectly. They are:

Proverbs 11:30 (MSG), A good life is a fruit-bearing tree; a violent life destroys souls.

Proverbs 29:19 (MSG), It takes more than talk to keep workers in line;mere words go in one ear and out the other.

Emotional Intelligence has this listed as Self-Regulation or Self- Management. The way we handle our emotions and reactions.

Preserving credibility is a key component to effective leadership in any field. All it takes is to think before we speak, or delay our reactions when faced with a crucial situation long enough to settle our emotions. When we master this our level of integrity will flow and we can build our credibility with others and become a VALID leader.

All scripture is from The Bible Gateway

Who Are You?

Have you ever witnessed duplicity? You know when a person acts differently depending on his surrounding. Or when they change opinions solely because some one else changes their viewpoint. The chameleon comes out. This can usually be attributed to trying to hard to please others.

Acting this way is considered hypocritical and creates serious concern about our integrity. Our relationships at work and home lose stability and eventually the trust factor dissipates. All because we are worried about pleasing others.

James 1:8 states, a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Webster's dictionary defines Duplicity:contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action;especially : the belying of one's true intentions by deceptive words or action

I contend most of us know duplicity hurts our character, then why does it exist? Why do we fall into the trap?

The Biblical answer is found in Romans 7:7-25. Our spirit is at war with our flesh. Causing us to act in ways we know are wrong, yet we cant seem to stop it.

Be bold and stand up tall for what you believe in. When you feel squeezed, remember God holds the answer. Pray for wisdom and don't back down from what is right.

All Bible Scriptures from Bible Gateway.Com

How are you treating others

This morning one of our employees asked me to handle a situation for her. She had to switch a driver from a brand new shiny, beautiful tractor into an older dusty, dirty tractor. The switch was for a recall and required maintenance. Already knowing the answer, I asked her why she needed my help?

Her response as expected, “He is miserable and grumpy. He’ll complain and give me a hard time. He’ll probably call off work the rest of the week.” I told her she'd do fine and I’d help if need be.

I happened to be outside when he drove up in his personal vehicle so I stopped him to say hello. We discussed the warranty issues and the tractor he was to drive and everything was great. He had no issues and understood completely. He even said he would stay with the old tractor until his was fixed completely.

This leads me back to the title of this post. This particular driver is labeled as grumpy, miserable, hard to deal with, and many other descriptions which are similar. Yet to me he is easy to get along with, but it was not always this way. What changed?

The way I handled him changed. By refusing to buy in to other's opinions about him I formed a relationship with him over time. He trusts me and knows he can talk with me and I’ll listen.

Building trust in any relationship takes time and effort—by both parties. I contend people reflect our attitude toward them back on us. When we are happy, others usually reply with a happy response. When we are unhappy, we get unhappiness back.

We can’t change or control what others think, say, or do. We can control how we react. We can also control how we approach others. Stephen Covey puts it this way, "We can act, or be acted upon." He also states, "Between stimulus and response, man has the power to choose."

So what is our choice? We can either respond with in kind and perpetuate the tension or use the Platinum rule, which states, Treat others the way they want to be treated.

Once you master this you’ll reap the joyful fruit of blossoming friendships instead of the prickly thorns of poor relations.